educate
J
Dad Dialed In
maskmatters.org
SPRING 2018
50
T
o my fellow dads: Have you
noticed, as I have, how stressed
out everyone is? We optimize
every minute for maximum
efficiency.This trickles down
to our children when we overload their
already fast-paced lives with every
experience and activity made available to
them. We are on-the-go all the time.
What effect does this have on our
kids? In a society where everything is
instant, where passive time is frowned
upon, and where instant gratification is
expected, is it possible we are wiring their
brains to adapt to this new status quo?
Take a deep breath. We have a
big responsibility to keep tabs on our
lifestyles, and a duty to teach our children
about balance, rest and play. Our children
look up to us as their fathers, and they
model what we do more than what we say.
From one dad to another (and in full
disclosure, I am guiltily one of these “on-
the-go, all-the-time” adults I describe),
let’s make time to model a healthy
schedule that opens doors for memories,
relaxation and fun.
Look at all the items on your kids’ to-
do lists outside of school: dance, baseball,
tutoring, and on and on. Each one is
individually important, but
pile them up and there is
no time to breathe.
Sit down with your
family and have your kids’
typical weekly schedule
written out. Ask yourself
if it’s too much. What
can we afford to take out?
Where can we build in
a time of rest, a time for
family, a time to walk the dogs or build
a fort? How can we spend less time in
traffic traveling from one “important”
responsibility to another?
Too much pile-up can stress our kids
out, and the effects and damage caused by
this are not always immediately apparent.
Remember these important tenets:
• Just because it’s offered doesn’t mean
they need to do it.
• Just because others are doing it
doesn’t mean they need to.
Growing up is not
a race. Growing up is
precious, and it happens
at the speed of light. We
do not need to speed it
up by overfilling each day.
My son is now an
adult. He just graduated
with his master’s degree
and has entered the
workforce. I assure you, I
do not look back at the last 22 years and
think, “Thank goodness he participated on
all those teams! Thank goodness we didn’t
miss any of those opportunities!”
Instead, I most appreciate
the moments when we stopped,
rested, talked and shared
our hearts.
When I look back
on my own upbringing,
I don’t think about
my scheduled activities, but I
do remember the one day each
year my dad took off work, pulled
me out of school as a surprise, and took
me to a spring training baseball game. I
remember when my dad occasionally took
me out to breakfast before school just to
chat—our one-on-one time together that
didn’t revolve around my school, my teams
or my activities.
I challenge all of us dads, regardless
of the age or gender of our kids, to create
moments to slow down and focus on
togetherness. Not chasing our kids from
one activity to another to get a leg up, but
by simply being together.
PHOTOGRAPHY
Courtesy of the Hodges family
HURRY UP, WE’RE
GOING TO BE LATE!
By // Brent Hodges
Our children
look up to us as
their fathers, and
they model what
we do more than
what we say.
