educate
J
Making the Grade
SPRING 2018
maskmatters.org
63
H
elping your preschool child learn how to tolerate feelings
is critical for a number of reasons.Their vocabulary is
increasing at a rapid rate; their brains are growing, thereby
allowing them to engage in more complex reasoning;
and they’re expressing their emotions verbally, physically and through
temper tantrums.
Helping them start to identify feelings, reminding them that these
feelings will pass, and refraining from punishing them for expressing
themselves are a good way to start teaching coping skills for preschool-
aged kids.
Good parenting starts with self-care. Make sure you model good
coping skills for your child. Identify your own emotions, identify your
triggers (especially your child’s behaviors that trigger you), and engage
in active self-care so that you’re not bursting at the seams when it comes
time to teach your child how to cope.
Younger kids are very good at learning diaphragmatic breathing, so
start early with this coping skill. For identifying triggers, help your child
describe what makes them mad and then create a “mad list” so you both
know what triggers an emotional tantrum.
Remember, the first step to good coping skills is tolerating emotions,
so your child needs to learn to tolerate the intense emotions they are
experiencing. Another tip: Be forgiving of parents dealing with a child
having a meltdown. Parenting is hard enough, let’s not make it harder
for each other by judging.
CHILD READING LIST
H
“I Can Do That: A Book on Self-
Regulation”
by Kayla J. W. Marnach
H
“Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful
Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and
Focused Anytime, Anywhere”
by
Kira Willey
PARENT READING LIST
H
“Little Kids, Big Worries: Stress-
Busting Tips for Early Childhood
Classrooms”
by Alice Honig
H
“Help Kids Cope with Stress and
Trauma”
by Caron Goode, Thomas
Goode, and David Russell
Coping
with Stress
Pre-K
Signs & Behaviors
q
Able to identify their feelings
with age-appropriate words like
mad, sad, happy, scared
q
Able to use deep breathing with
your help; a good way to teach
them is by using bubbles
q
Shows signs of self-regulating;
they will learn how to calm down
on their own
q
Able to identify situations in
which they may have intense
feelings, such as:
• Transitions
• Surprises
• Vacations
• Changes in routine
• Not getting their way
• Hunger
• Fatigue
What You Can Do
D
Model emotional regulation
through:
• Self-care
• Feelings identification
• Trigger identification
• Emotional tolerance
D
Teach emotional tolerance by
helping them understand that
feelings are temporary and
that feelings pass
D
Teach them how to identify
the triggers that make them
feel intense emotions
D
Avoid punishing them for
temper tantrums; give them a
“time in” when you help them
identify their feelings
Conversation
Starters
“
What are the things
that happen that make
you have really big
feelings?”
“
When you have really
big feelings, remember
to breathe really slow
like you’re making the
biggest bubble ever.”
“
Which feelings are hard
for you?”
