educate
J
Making the Grade
SPRING 2018
maskmatters.org
67
What You Can Do
D
Model and teach appropriate
emotional scaling
D
Model and teach appropriate self-
care strategies
D
Limit the use of poor coping
strategies such as video games,
watching TV, eating to cope or
sleeping to cope
D
Encourage involvement in
activities they love that help them
feel good about themselves
D
Be present and actively listen;
don’t listen to problem-solve,
listen to empathize and show
validation
D
Teach relaxation skills
D
Teach them how to take breaks
from things that are too difficult
D
Teach them how to set boundaries
D
Help them keep perspective
D
Remind them to use deep
breathing and mindfulness skills
D
Reinforce the use of empathy
D
Keep labeling emotions and the
bodily sensations associated with
emotions
D
Remind them that emotions are
short-lived and are signals we
need to pay attention to in order
to understand our situations
better
Conversation
Starters
“
Learning how to gauge your
reactions can help in social
situations. Do you tend to freak
out at things or are you more
chill when you hang out with your
friends?”
“
It’s OK to take a break from
something that is hard and
frustrating. Go do something that
can help you feel a little more in
control and then come back to
this and finish it.”
“
What are some healthy coping
skills you use that help you feel
better when you are stressed?”
K
ids in junior high begin to rely on their friends more than family,
and struggle for independence. Emotions run high during this
time, so coping skills are a critical tool for them to succeed.
Furthermore, junior high school kids have a sophisticated ability
to identify feelings, talk about their emotions, engage in adaptive coping
skills, and do so independently.
The crux of the issue for a young teen is that the amount of stress is
tripled, so even if they were excellent at coping with emotions in elementary
school, their abilities are taxed to the limit in junior high.They are less likely
to turn to parents for help, so it’s critical they have stable, healthy social
support from their peers.
Coping skills at this age include a healthy mix of deep breathing and
mindfulness, talking about emotions, sharing and empathizing with peers
about similar experiences, and discovering new healthy ways of coping while
avoiding unhealthy options such as substances, sex, and unhealthy social
relationships.
An additional skill they begin to use is scaling, or appropriately
matching the emotional intensity of an emotional experience to the
situation that is eliciting the experience. In other words, they are going to
start recognizing what types of emotional reactions are appropriate to what
types of settings, based on the social feedback they get from their peers.
Signs &
Behaviors
YOUNG TEENS THAT CAN COPE TEND TO:
q
Understand they should eliminate negative behaviors
q
Maintain good boundaries
q
Use coping skills to deal with emotionally intense situations
q
Take a break from a frustrating activity, engage in a coping skill,
and return to the activity to complete it
q
Express empathy
q
Know that emotions are short-lived
q
Have a broad vocabulary for their emotions
q
Be able to ignore inappropriate behaviors that others engage in
q
Identify healthy coping skills that work for them
YOUNG TEENS THAT HAVE DIFFICULTY COPING TEND TO:
q
Become aggressive or isolated quickly
q
Have low frustration tolerance and give up quickly without
returning to the task
q
Use distraction techniques (gaming, eating, sleeping) in excess
q
Avoid stressful situations to the point of avoiding all activities
q
Have trouble with empathy
q
Have difficulty reading social cues well
q
Have trouble making friends
q
Have difficulty with transitions and tolerating the unknown or
unexpected
