MASK_SPR18_fweb - page 76

educate
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College Life Skills
maskmatters.org
SPRING 2018
74
not only a student’s grades and academic
performance, but also their health and
well-being.
Students at great universities should
expect people to genuinely care about
how they’re feeling and ask if they want
or need help. Having widely available
services, such as a counseling center, health
center, healthy eating options, safe social
experiences, and fitness centers are key.
Those services have been shown to greatly
help students cope with stress and anxiety.
What can parents and family
do for their college student
who’s experiencing a
lot of stress and anxiety?
We always recommend that parents believe
their college student when they say they
are experiencing stress and anxiety. It can
be very hard to admit it and we want all
students to have unconditional support.
We recommend parents say, “I am sorry
this has been so hard; it makes sense why
you’re feeling this way. I’m glad you told
me.” Next, we recommend that parents ask
their student, “What have you tried so far?
What has worked? What hasn’t worked?”
Asking those questions is important
because you want to approach problem-
solving as a team.
Most parents will go right into
advice-giving mode or will try to solve the
problem for their student, which tends not
to be as effective as partnering with your
student.This is difficult for most parents,
because they want their child to be “OK,”
and want to alleviate the pain quickly. But
that doesn’t tend to work as well, and some
students will tune out their parents when
they give direct advice.
And, for parents who try to solve the
problems for their student, often they may
come up with a solution that is different
than what the student wants or needs.
Moreover, the student may not take
ownership of the parent’s solution.
Instead, in a partnership, you first ask what
they have tried and from there you can
make recommendations, such as seeking
direct support from a counseling center.
Their reaction to your recommendations
will tell you about their readiness to take
your advice. Most often, people are more
ready to try advice when it comes in the
form of joint problem-solving rather than
direct advice.
W
ith a few unexpected twists and turns, the college experience can
be like a roller coaster, Corrina Williams says. And when she talks
about life as a junior at Arizona State University, it’s clear she’s
handling the ride just fine as a successful student.
But it wasn’t always that way. As a freshman, there were times
illiams wasn’t sure if she could succeed in college, like when she failed a test for
the first time.
“It was a political science exam, and I remember studying for hours on end just
to pass it, because it was worth 500 points,”Williams says. “I knew I bombed it the
moment I took it. I immediately hiked up “A”Mountain, sat down and called my
best friend from high school and just started crying.”
Her friend, who was going through a similar adjustment as a student at Baylor
University, forwarded her a video of a spoken word poem titled, “I Will Not Let an
Exam Result Determine My Fate.” According to Williams, it was an inspirational
video, and after watching it and talking with her friend, she felt like, “I got this.”
The justice studies major says that failure was a turning point. Evaluating her
study habits, she realized that flash cards, quizzes and other study hacks didn’t work
for her, and instead she started using a simple study guide to review the material.
Williams did much better on the remaining tests that semester.
For many college freshmen, being away from home for the first time and making
the adjustment from high school can lead to anxiety or homesickness. For Williams,
who lived in several states with her parents growing up—including California,
Nevada, South Carolina and Arizona—it wasn’t until her second semester that she
suddenly became homesick.
With the stress of mid-terms getting to her, she decided to make an impromptu
trip back to South Carolina, where she had lived as a teenager.
“I felt like the pressure was overwhelming,” she recalls. “I knew I wanted to
continue on with my studies, but just not in the way that I was dealing with it. So I
took my first flight ever. I just got on a plane and left for five days.”
Williams met up with her best friend in South Carolina, who helped her to calm
down and offered support and advice on what she should do.
“I’m glad for that because now we’re coming up on our sixth year of friendship.
He’s one of the reasons I’m still active in my studies,” she says.
The Hollywood, California native also credits ASU resources for helping her
adjust to college life, from her professors to a first-year success coach she had during
her freshman year. Williams and her student coach, Tatiana, would meet for lunch at
the food trucks on campus.
“When we started, she would just say, ‘Let’s talk about your day.’ And that would
be a coping method, just talking about things,”Williams says. “Halfway through our
conversation, I would realize my problem and recognize how I could deal with it.”
Now in her third year, Williams’ roller coaster has leveled out. Recently, she
added a minor in sustainability and a certificate program in energy, and is picking up
real-world skills in her student job as building manager in ASU’s Memorial Union
COLLEGE
HIGHLIGHT
CORRINA
WILLIAMS
By // Jim Brophy, ASU Communications Specialist
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